I’m publishing this article under Subrosa but I could have as well published it under any of my other websites because it touches every part of me… as it touches, as a matter of fact, every part of you.
It is the story of the fish in its aquarium… it has been told to me sometimes ago by one of my instructors and friends, Konstantin Komarov. It is the story of many people, maybe it is your story as well.
Imagine for a minute that you are this fish living in an aquarium and that the aquarium is your life. There is water so you can breathe and the dirt laying at the bottom of the aquarium represents the condition of your mental and emotional well-being (let’s call it “psyche” for the purpose of this article even if it is not really correct to translate in this way as it also involves here the state of one’s nervous system).
If Life is treating you gently and you are not stressed out all the time, you should not have accumulated too much dirt so far in your aquarium. So, when Life is rocking your aquarium a little bit more than usual and confront you with some drama, an unforeseen event or anything alike, the water in your aquarium becomes a little bit cloudy. It is not as nice as before but the fish/you will cope as the dirt will slowly go back at the bottom of your aquarium with time.
On the contrary, if Life has been rough and/or if you have accumulated a lot of tension and stress, you have plenty of dirt in your aquarium. Therefore, it will not behave the same if Life starts rocking it.
If all your life’s parameters remain the same, then you, as a fish, can still live a relatively good life in a filthy aquarium because the dirt will remain at the bottom. Well, that is only if Life doesn’t give a little push to your aquarium. If it is the case, then the water turns into mud and you, the fish, can no longer breathe, it suffocates and would be ready to destroy the whole world including itself just for a flick on the glass of its aquarium.
Come on, look around. The examples are numerous. It is this guy (no stereotypes here of course) who would be ready to kill the whole family in the car in front because it cut him off, road rage at its best…this state of being is very dangerous because even if all seems perfect for now, it is an illusion. The dirt is there and it is just waiting for a little push/irritation/change/frustration to suffocate you.
SO, WHAT TO DO?
The answer is very easy and very difficult. You must clean your aquarium and clean yourself! I will not be dogmatic about it here as there are many ways but breathing, moving and hard work are probably the cornerstones of this process.
HOW TO TEST YOURSELF?
This is even harder because hoping for Life to come knock at your aquarium with some troubles would be pure masochistic, then how? Well, go out of your aquarium because no matter how clean it is, it will always be an aquarium!! Don’t get me to say something I haven’t said…it is ok to live in an aquarium, you are a fish…it is normal to organize your life in a civilized manner, have plans, projects for the future. We live in a society. Hey! I live in an aquarium too… BUT once in a while, please, go out of your aquarium and feel the WIND OF REALITY. Feel what it is when you touch Life at its core. Sleep outside, be hot, be cold, be scared, be vulnerable, feel what natural conditions are to us. Fear, pain and death are also part of the wind of reality but I would not recommend going out and seek for them. They will come when the time is right.
Enjoy the process my friends, clean your aquarium and go outside once in a while to test yourself a little bit and see who you are inside!